Off The Deep End

People are sooooo funny.  I am very fortunate, because I have hilariously funny people in my life.  People who keep me laughing, which in turn keeps me semi-sane.  Lately I have taken to writing down the funny things my friends and family say, lest I forget them.  So now I’m going to blog about them.  Some of these statements might not seem funny when you read them, but that’s okay, because as I write, I can see the “instigators of laughter” making these statements, and I can assure you they were quite funny.  So you just have to trust me.

My cousin Lacy, in response to my Aunt Linda’s attempt to provide very complicated directions, which she assured us would shave at least 3 minutes off of our journey to the store:  “Mom.  Shortcuts never work.  If they did, they would just be called THE WAY.”

My friend Joanne, when offered a hot dog:  “No thanks.  I don’t like side food.  You know, hot dogs, tacos, corn on the cob – food that you eat from the side.  I also don’t like spaghetti, because it slaps you.”

My friend Amanda, while watching her 8-year-old daughter’s soccer game:  “ELLIE RUN TOWARDS THE GOAL!!!  RUN THAT WAY!!!  RUN!!!  RUN!!!  RUN!!!  YOU’RE RUNNING THE WRONG WAY!!! (*sits down and takes deep breath*) “NOT THAT IT MATTERS, HONEY.  IT’S ALL ABOUT DOING YOUR BEST AND HAVING FUN!!!”

My mother, when I followed up after asking her to do a favor for me:  “Oh, I totally forgot about that.  Right after I decided not to do it.”  (Bwahahahaha…)

A great guy whom I supervise at work, during a recent staff meeting:  “Sorry, it’s not that I’m not listening to you.  It’s just that you have the thermostat set on hell in here.”

My awesome supervisor, during a conversation where we were expressing different opinions:  “This is not about winning or losing.  It’s about me being right.”

My 15-year-old friend Shorty, referring to a somewhat-out-of-control youngster:  “That kid needs a bully.”

My cousin Jill, in response to my telling her about a difficult thing that had happened to a friend of mine:  “The worst things always happen to the nicest people.  That’s why I’m such a b—-.”

My cousin Lacy (again), after being told by my Aunt Linda that she had taken food over to our aunt and uncle’s house following surgery:  “Oh my gosh, did you cook for them?  Wow, kick ’em while they’re down…”

My cousin Lacy (once more…), exasperated after being teased by another family member:

Aunt Linda:  “Lacy, he’s just full of B.S.”

Lacy:  “He’s about to be full of bullets.”

And…my personal favorite…

My precious friend Hannah, age 7, as we were walking to the car after her soccer game:

Hannah:  “Aunt Laura, your hair is sticking out from the side of your cap.”

Me:  “Okay, can you stick it behind my ear since my hands are full?”

Hannah:  “Yeah.  Here, lick my hand.”



I love to laugh.  There’s really nothing I’d rather do than laugh – especially with a group of people, who are also laughing.  (It’s generally not as much fun if I’m the only laugher in a large group of non-laughers – it tends to elicit those “looks” that I try so hard to avoid.)  There is something healing about laughter – physically, spiritually, and emotionally – and there really is nothing like it.  It is one of the great joys in life.

In addition to loving laughter, I also love to make other people laugh.  It feels like giving them a gift, and it is so much fun to watch them “open” it.  I don’t mean this in a cocky way or in an “oh, wow, I’m funny” kind of way.  I just mean that being goofy is sort of my thing that I do.  I can’t sing, or cook, or dance, or stand on one foot, or plant flowers that live more than 2 days, or wash clothes without shrinking them, or refrain from eating carbs late at night, or draw faces that look even remotely human.  Or a thousand other things.  But I can occasionally make people laugh.  And that’s fun.

In addition to loving to laugh, I also love to write.  I’m rusty at it – I used to write a whole lot as a kid and as a college student, but adulthood came around (chronological adulthood at least), and life got busy, and it just sort of faded into the background.  I had teachers in elementary school who encouraged my love for writing, and I will be forever grateful to them, despite the fact that I think they probably encouraged me to write because it kept me sitting in my chair for more than the customary 5 minutes I could usually maintain inertia.

So last summer, assisted by my cousin Jill, who is much more of an expert in all things world-wide-webbish than I am, I decided to do a blog, and to combine two things that I loved – making people laugh, and writing.  And I did it.  And it sucked.  And that was that.  I didn’t enjoy it – it felt “forced,” and I had to make myself write, and then I found myself wondering if other people thought it was funny.

Over the past six months, God has been teaching me much about who I am in Him.  It has been a time of growth for me – a difficult time, but I am learning that my identity is based solely on who I am in Him, and not on anything I can do – including make people laugh.  And I have found myself writing again.  But this time, it’s different for me.  I feel the desire – actually it’s more like a need – to write, because there are things on my heart that I want to write about.  And I’m not so much concerned about whether people think it’s funny or not – because I’m not sure it’s always going to be funny either.  It probably will be at times, because there is just way too much bizarreness out there to not write about it – I don’t think I can help it – plus there’s light and fluffy stuff to write about too, and I’ll have to do that sometimes – but it is probably going to be a bit deeper at times too.  And if people want to read it and chime in that’s wonderful.  If not, that’s okay too – they can always go to  (Hee hee hee that’s not really a website…)